Chadwick Boseman

Trying to express sorrow following the passing of Chadwick Boseman feels incredibly difficult the given the depth of grief the world currently feels. It would however, be a disservice to Chadwick, the embodiment of persistence and expression, to not at least try. So it’s with a weary soul and swollen eyes that I try to come to terms with living in a world without Chadwick Boseman. 

How do you mourn an actor, a legend, a king, a partner, an idol, and a giant? Chadwick Boseman remains a reservoir of nobility, attitude and triumph. It feels impossible to articulate what he meant to the world, and still means to it. He was a man that was simultaneously larger than life and yet so easily identifiable. Boseman was a case of both destiny and dedication. He was a man connected to his craft. He breathed it. I can’t really say that his talent was seamless, because with every moment on screen you see the years of work, and study and patience. Each line and each expression were fluent yet precise. In retrospect, it seems like it was meant to happen for him. His ties to Denzel Washington, Phylicia Rashad and Angela Basset, his silent and adjacent links with elders, being watered by the grace of figures before him, and him never hesitating, nor forgetting to now water them. Working with them, and remaining a student.

I remember being a freshman in university and heading to the theatre to watch 42, being utterly enthralled by his performance. This guy had it all, the fortitude and the energy. Fast forward three years and he’s cast as Black Panther in Civl War. I remember watching him on screen as king T’Challa, I’d never witnessed something so satisfying in a movie theatre. That was a sensation that lasted all of two years until Black Panther came out. I still remember watching the trailer for the first time, stuck to my chair, heart beating beyond control. I had never, have never and likely will never be more excited for a movie as I was for Black Panther. I remember going alone to the theatre, dressed in all black, wearing a Black Panther t-shirt overtop a black hoodie, and listening to the soundtrack on my way in. Rarely in life do we get to have experiences that are so sublimely satisfying, but seeing Chadwick as king T’Challa in that movie, every frame felt euphoric. I was witnessing everything I’d ever dreamed of from an actor and a character. I can’t adequately articulate how badly I wanted to love that movie and the performance, nor can I explain how overwhelmingly joyous and fulfilled I felt leaving the theatre. 

Boseman is more than just Black Panther, we know that. He reached heights that few ever dream of, and cemented a legacy reserved icons of the craft. He dedicated himself to stories, he was consistent, thorough, and devoted to illustrating tales of Black lore, excellence and reflection. Black Panther, Thurgood Marshall, James Brown, Jackie Robinson, the man had the range and the gravitas. Chadwick will forever remain in our hearts, in our minds and on our screens. You won’t be able to explain modern cinema without including his relevance and impact on the art form. He’s a figure that will loom for eternity, one of the only facets of his passing that brings me any solace. 

He was magnetic, charismatic, truly and uniquely mesmerizing. There isn’t room on earth he couldn’t command with a simple sentence. His aura, his humility, his laugh and his thoughtfulness are why we’ll miss him. We were all fans of him, we all rooted for him, if his name was on the bill, we were going to buy a ticket, I certainly was. It would seem he got to do everything he wanted to do, you can’t ask for a better career, and yet we find ourselves longing. It all feels unfair. It’s not because we know what Chadwick Boseman would have been, it’s because we could all see what he was, what he remains. An unparalleled king on and off screen, scrupulous, reverent, intelligent and talented. 

I’ll never be able to reconcile, I remember lying on my floor, crying, sobbing, weeping, unable to accept nor comprehend his passing. But knowing what he was able to accomplish given the circumstances of his health, and knowing he passed on his own terms, surrounded by his friends and family, brings me another kernel of solace. Knowing that he was able to live his life with the support of his loved ones, knowing the global affection he received, knowing he maintained his necessary privacy, it brings me comfort and consolation. Knowing his gifts and presence that are still with us; the memories, the performances, the generosity, the wisdom and the legacy, gives me a shred of hope and relief knowing that while we live in a world where Chadwick Boseman has passed away, we don’t live in a world without Chadwick Boseman.